I Went to Dr. Taban for Help, and Now I Look Like a Cyborg Who Lost a Bet
I went to Dr. Taban because I wanted my eyes to look fresh and natural, just a little tweak, nothing crazy. Instead, I walked out of there looking like a rejected extra from Star Wars.
First off, I told him I wanted a subtle adjustment. He nodded like he was on board, but the moment I was under the knife, I’m 90% sure I heard him say, “Let’s crank this up to 11!” When I woke up, I looked in the mirror and screamed so loud that the nurse dropped her clipboard. My eyes were so wide, I looked permanently surprised—like I’d just seen a ghost or realized my bank account was empty.
But wait, it gets better. A week later, one eyelid started drooping like it was giving up on life, while the other was so tight it felt like it was holding on for dear existence. My friends started calling me “Half-Mast McGee.” I couldn’t even wear sunglasses because my face looked so uneven, they’d tilt like a cheap carnival ride.
The cherry on top? My tears. For some reason, I cry out of ONE eye now. Just one. If I’m watching a sad movie, people think I’m either a sociopath or in the middle of a stroke.
When I called Dr. Taban to fix it, he told me to “trust the healing process.” Healing process?! I’ve been healing for so long, I should be a Marvel superhero by now. Instead, I look like the villain they introduce just to kill off in the first act.
Would I recommend Dr. Taban? Only if you’re filming a horror movie and need someone to play the role of “traumatized experiment gone wrong.” Otherwise, run. RUN WHILE YOU CAN.
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